Writing Stress

I wish that I could say that I've decided to add a post to my blog for any reason other than I am delaying finishing an essay that I'm writing for my capstone project (think creative thesis). The drawback to writing personal essays is that you have to examine all your "stuff." Was it Emerson or Thoreau who wrote "an unexamined life is not worth living"?

Liar. An examined life is scary. The essay I'm working on is about what makes a house a home. And I started bawling about a very trying time in my life. I picked up the phone to thank two people who really helped me through that awful time in my life and I ended up bawling on the phone to them. And then laughing because I was acting like such an idiot. Neither emotion reassured them that I was okay, although I tried to let them know that I really was. I just wanted to thank them again.

At the moment I have gotten to a point where I am about to write about the most trying time in my life, and, as you can see, I'm avoiding it. I've written four paragraphs in the last 24 hours. Not making much progress am I?

On top of this, I suspect that this essay is going to take a massive re-write. I'm not sure that the structure I've chosen is really good, or if it's going to feel long and boring to a reader. I think I have to finish the whole damn thing, though, before I'll really know.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAgggggggghhhh.